Gosh, this song makes me tear up every time…
Category Archives: Just thoughts
Ready…Set…Holy Sh*@
Chess all mopey because it's moving time...
Alrighty, so I have reached my insanity point. J/k. Well not really. Can you believe it?! In these last 9 month-ish, I have gotten engaged, interviewed all over the US, went to Ecuador, planned a DIY wedding, looked for a house, planned a honeymoon, matched!!, gotten 2 dogs, survived family wedding drama, bought a house, and finished up my last year of medical school. Wooohooo!
It's moving time!
And now, crammed in the next 3 weeks in no particular order, we’re flying back to inspect the house, getting MARRIED, RMK is leaving for a 1 week hiking trip to the middle of NOWHERE without cell phone or internet only to land 4 days before the wedding, leaving on our honeymoon, closing on the house, packing, moving to Denver, adopted a puppy, graduating from medical school, unpacking and preparing for residency in 4 days, and finally…starting residency. Whew! That’s right…we live life by the seat of our pants. RMK says before he met me, his to-do lists were never this long.
You see that smile...of either the smartest man or the....well the smartest well-made pre-wedding plan.
Sooooo, I am going to be on hiatus from my readers for the next month. I am back-blogged, but they have been edited and scheduled to release while I am gone. Enjoy! The next time I am on, I will be Mrs. K. and Dr. K!!! Yupeeeee!!
Our Newest Family Addition: Moshi
Isn't he cute?!
That’s right, you would think a wedding, a move, and all this life stuff would slow me down, but we just like to add a little more gas to the fire. You know, so I go insane and all. No, this was a good addition as Chess was very bored with us traveling a bit more and super busy every day. Meet Moshi, our half dachshund half malti-poo. He’s about hand-size, and currently a very active puppy. We know he’s super smart as he already has figured out how to escape his cage, and he climbs things like a cat. Moshi wails like a monkey at night, expected from a puppy apart from his litter so early.
Yes, after the moshi balls.
We would like to thank my lovely high-school/college girlfriend for giving him up to us. Moshi caused distress to her other diva-licious dog, so she had to give him up. We promise not to spoil him too much 
Of course to all my readers, she would love for me to add a tidbit about organ donation. Spring is a lovely time to sign-up! There is really no reason why you should never sign on the dotted line. Coming from a health provider stand-point, there are tons of people of all ages who wait daily, people who are someones’ sister, mother, brother, etc. One of these days, I will tell you a story of a 16 year old cardiomyopathy patient who waited and waited until it was too late. It’s one of the few times I have cried on a rotation. So yes, sign up.
For more information visit:
www.UNOS.org
Sometimes a Hug is Just What the Doctor Ordered
I am incredibly back-blogged (haha get it?) (don’t roll your eyes) so some of the posts are out of order, but this one needs to go first. Sometimes, many times, I get wrapped up in my to-do lists from the wedding, to graduation, to moving and packing, to honeymoon planning, budgeting, learning to buy a home, to finding out what I’m going to do with this monstrosity of a loan, to chores–laundry, dishes, groceries, to working out to fit into my dress, to the MATCH which is in 2 days…someone said 4th year was chill but apparently, they haven’t met us. Our plate is full, and when I sit down to breath, I find myself having to juggle 80 balls, and my mind goes rambling for the 15 minute break. And then there is this break you wish you didn’t have, this crack that echoes ominously through the buzz of your day.
We have a wonderful, beautiful friend who is going through a horrible, almost unspeakable time with her family. The passing of someone young, so bright, and even from a distant, you could tell this person was kind-hearted, a bearer of golden light. An unnecessary, unfathomable end to someone who probably would have given his shirt off his back if you had asked.
I heard about it, and all I could do was look over to RMK and squeeze him so tight. I read the news articles on-line, and tears would come for such sadness for a family and community. I wake up every morning, in a rush, thinking about my day already. Sometimes, we take for granted the presence of someone who we hold so dearly, and we expect to see everyday of our lives. I cannot comprehend or fathom not having my best friend, my love, and half of my being on this journey. That hug, the everyday intake of air that smells of him–it slows down time and reminds me what is important. When it’s his time, then it’s his time but I would never want him to suffer. Give it to me. Give it all to me. If we could, wouldn’t we take it for the ones we love?
And then, the tsunami. Your heart breaks, for all those people who can’t find their children, their parents, their husbands and wives. Those poor children found in the rummage. The man who saw his wife float away. The elderly couple stuck in a car for over 20 hours in freezing conditions. I was thinking as we drove home this weekend, what if it happened right now? Here? Sometimes it feels so good to have all your family, safe, under one roof. My sister was with us, but my parents. I would turn the car around and find them, comb the ends of the Earth to know they’re safe. The idea of no cell phone, no internet, no landlines or electricity, and broken roads so you couldn’t drive. I get panicky and emotional just thinking about it.
I cannot say how blessed I am, we are, to be able to kiss our families goodnight, to know everyone is safe and sound. That RMK is next to me is sleeping off Nyquil and snoring. That laundry pile and all those wedding details…they sure become really small.
Perez Hilton Needs a Beating
Enough Said.
I heard this on the radio today. Perez Hilton, scandal-revealer extraordinaire, issued a public service announcement last week on bullying and trying to stop bully violence in schools. Uhh ok. This coming from someone who makes a living making fun of people’s children, bodies, and writing about people’s crumbling lives. So tons of people called him a hippocrite and idiot, and he went to the press saying that this really made him see himself in a new light. That he was going to change his image, and this is not how he wanted to be remembered. Really?! Yes, people can change, but this coming from a guy who makes millions based on zippo intelligence, zippo skills, and zippo ethics.
Which reminds me, I haven’t owned a working television (one that has any cable or antenna) in about 3 years. We’re now renting a house with cable, and I saw snippits of Kim Kardashian, Jersey Shore, Tori Spelling, and Denise Richards. Holy crap. You know how people say great civilizations always have a peak and then began to crumble? Well I think we’re crumbling. We gave money, lots of money, so we can stand in line and get books signed by Tori Spelling. BTW, I just learned on E! that Denise Richards is writing her biography. You can find it right next to President Lincoln’s memoirs. GIVE me a freaking break.
When has fame been such a desired thing, that you’re willing to be an idiot on public television? Do you like looking and living like Jessica Simpson? I don’t see anything to be desired. Expensive sunglasses. LV purse. The essential pout. And wave the hand as if you don’t want pictures but you secretly do. And we’re really proud about it. Fame.
Now, I am sure they would say, you’re just jealous or hating because I am not living their life. Not as beautiful as them. Better yet, turn the channel and don’t watch. Don’t buy the magazines. Etc. But it’s everywhere! I even went to my beloved Food Network: all reality TV! No more teaching me to cook! I love InStyle and Cosmo, but it’s there too. Ms. Kardashian expressing her methods to balance her life, teaching me that I should take deep breaths and write in a journal. She knows how to write?
Ok, Ok. I am done with my rant. I already wasted too much space on this crap.
Creating an Instant Family
We were walking through a restaurant bar the other day, when a older lady stopped us to compliment my ring (which happens often I might add ) But anyways, we stopped to chat, and she said proudly “We have been married 47 years!” while patting her hubby’s arm. The husband grabbed RMK’s arm while we were chatting about weddings and said something that made him laugh out loud.
Later, when I asked him, he said the husband said “Run. Run while you still can.” Hahaha.
Most of us hold our families as the most important things in our life. You know, RMK and I realized, that most of us, spend less than a 1/4 of our life in that unit. I remember my childhood, playing with my brother and sister, fighting as siblings should, coming home and eating dinner at the table. It is the idea of family in my head. And at 17, I left, and that unit is very imprinted in my memory, but I haven’t lived it for a long time. After college, I never came back to stay for long time periods. Now, my brother is half across the world, my sister is entering into the time she will find her life course, and my parents, well my parents will always be my parents. They become less parents and more friends-like, but the idea of family of my youth is the now the family that will work really hard to get together and made of many new families.
I was reading this article somewhere about marriage the other day, and something really stuck. I don’t have any doubts about sharing my life with him. We are fully aware of our conflicts, current and future. We’re not the same people and better for it. I believe in spanking, and I don’t think anyone who knows RMK can see him hitting anything. I don’t want every vacation to be in the wilderness. I like my feather bed thank you. I have no inclination to visit Alaska, and he has no desire to hyperventilate in the mall. And I hate it when he puts clothes on the floor, and he hates it when I worry about details. So what’s the difference between a marriage and long-term relationship?
Is it the piece of paper in addition to the “our day” theme? Those things are really superficial, a product of advertising, money, and government law, hence the high divorce rate. But this lady wrote: marriage held in its essence of foreverness and permanence: it’s an instant family. I am joining with my best-friend, confidant, partner in life to create a family that holds to my youthful memory, and one day, when our kids leave, live the rest of our time on Earth together. That is what makes a marriage wholly different. I have someone to depend on and share all my life experiences with. He knows, me. That I exist. He knows the last 1/2 of my life. And what a blessing it is to find it, and it fits.
Of course, this is not an article to make you barf about love and marriage. We are realistically idealistic. It wasn’t hard to make the decision to participate in some kind of pre-marriage counseling. I have had several friends, religious and non-religious that have taken the weekend courses, and most of them love it. Tons of communication activities and things to discuss about that you never think about. Money, children, chores, vacations, house, even sleep and sex. It’s all important.
Life Check
Sometimes, after spending hours and hours at the hospital, everything just becomes automatic. Routine. Today RMK came home after doing surgery on a man, 28 years old with an aggressive glioblastoma with multiple satellite lesions. It was basically a debulking surgery to extend his life. During this surgery, they woke him up for almost 10 hours to make sure they were avoiding the verbal areas of the brain. Can you imagine, sitting with your head tilted, screwed on a steel frame, and not moving for 10 hours, staring at the ceiling? He had a brand-new baby girl and wife. He will not see his 30′s.
During the procedure, he starting crying profusely, and all the surgeons kept asking are you pain?! They tried to keep the lidocaine at a maximum to make it as comfortable as possible. He said no, that he was just sad. I cannot even begin to imagine. But truly, it reminds us how fragile our lives are, and we truly have people’s lives, complete lives in our hands sometimes. And sometimes, we can do nothing.
I don’t think deeply about death too often. When I walk by an ICU patient, most of the time they’re old, and I think: Mr. So and So, he isn’t going to walk out of here. Sometimes, you can just tell. And you do your best, and in the morning, he won’t be on the list anymore. And the thoughts of dying fizz out right there as the hectic day begins. But in reality, if they are younger, if they are babies and children, it hits much worst. Why? Because they haven’t gotten the chance to live a life.
I told RMK, if I were to die at 28, with literally 2 month left to live, I think I would be angry. Angry and sad. That I haven’t gotten to even begin my life, which I severely slowed down due to school and my career. That I haven’t begun to live life married, and so worried about who was going to take care of the people I am leaving behind. I wonder does it change when you’re in your 70′s and 80′s. Do you sit in the back porch on your rocking chair and think, I have lived a good life? Does the anger lessen and the fear greater because you think about it more often?
I never ask my patients. Most doctors don’t. It’s the unspoken. It’s a reminder though, that life does not stop because you are scheduling interviews and thinking this is the most important time of my career. And it doesn’t stop for the busy or the young. It’s really hard to live life without taking things for granted or being routine. But sometimes you get a message from the powers that be, to be reminded of all the important things in life.
Taco has Ticks!!
Ticks Infestation
We got home and gave Taco a bath, didn’t see anything. But my sister woke up to check the bed and found literally 70 or 80 ticks on her comforter. Vomit. Anyways, after reading a bazillion blogs, the warning is to not ever take your indoor dog to Arkansas…it’s literally tick valley. Kimmy says all the ticks fell off at once possibly due to Taco’s fatness…they couldn’t dig pass all the deep fat to get to his blood so they aborted. But now, we are on tick clean-up with me and my mom on freak out mode. All the sheets, blankets, bedding, HOT water and washed. Taco had to sleep on the floor and cried the whole night. He sat in a pool of stinky apple cider vinegar for over 30 minutes and whined in the tub.
Tick in detail
We bought this stuff: diatomaceous earth that basically makes the ticks lose their exoskeleton and kills their eggs. Its spread on the carpet, couch, and the car. I am baking everything in car, and all our clothes are boiling in water. So to all our travel mates: check yourself. Check your armpits, hair line, groin, and all those fat creases.
How to kill them: cook your luggage in your car or freeze your luggage ( if ours fit, I would totally do this. RMK says I am officially insane). Hot water for everything else. Bomb for the eggs.
Don’t squish them!! They have spirochetes in their belly, and you just smear it all over your fingers. Light a match and pop them or drop them a cup of alcohol, Vodka will work.
Watch out for Lyme Disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever! Muscle aches, fever, headaches, fatigue, rashes on palms and soles…go to the dr!!
A lovely Arkansas souvenir.
Source: Wiki Pacific Northwest Labs Bug Guide Sniffbutt
The Good Things in Life
One of my lovely friends sent me this today so I made my own:
The Best Things in Life
Full body massages
Nude patent heels
Early morning kisses on the forehead, as you drift back to lala land
Dove Dark Chocolate
Wonderful friends who you can’t help but smile when they call
Peppermint Tea
Beard burn
Origin’s Papaya Skin Brightening Face Scrub
My Clarisonic-in pink
Belly laughs
Afternoon naps during rain showers
Versace Atelier dream dresses
The feeling after a 90 min power yoga class
Great parents
White down comforters
The baby smell
Hot soup and a book
Giggling at midnight
No, HCG Will Not Enlarge Your Testicles…Nor Make You Lose Weight
I have noticed, whenever I put the words Sex, Nude, Testicles, Penis, etc. in the title of a post, the readership jump like crazy. I guess that tells me a lot about my audience…
But if you haven’t seen the billboards or FOX News specials on this new HCG diet fad, you’re living under a rock. I am currently on a Reproductive, Infertility, and Endocrine rotations (REI), and we pump women full of HCG for the purpose of getting pregnant. And then, someone asked, will I lose weight on this? Hmm…good question!
Uhh no. Quite simply, this is the biggest diet hoax ever. Theoretically, HCG is released by the placenta during pregnancy in order to maintain your estrogen/progesterone levels to make that nice, cushy bed for your baby. It ALSO stimulates your fat cells to release the energy it’s been storing up, especially in the first trimester when you may not even know you’re pregnant yet. The goal is survival of the fetus: suck the energy out of your body and give it to the baby.
Dr. ATW Simeons supposedly observed that when treating your boys with hypogonadism (small testicles), HCG not only gave them testicle development, but the boys lost weight without hunger pangs. BTW, after puberty, HCG will not make your testicles grow any larger. If you have small balls, it’s just too late.
Who in the world knows what's in this stuff.
Anyways, Dr. Simeons is an English physician who is advertised as a endocrinologist, but I think he’s really an infectious disease specialist. I cannot find his certification, but he wrote this idea that HCG may cause weight loss.
Here the hook and sinker, you have to consume, get this, 500-800 calories a day with daily HCG injections. It mimics morning sickness in a way. First trimester: lady is nauseous as hell, can’t keep down any food, so the HCG eats up her fat cells in desperation for calories for the growing fetus. So a NORMAL person, needs to consume just the minimum to avoid your stomach eating itself, and let the HCG do it work. Honestly, if you consume 500 calories day, you will lose weight no matter what. You could just lay there and only get up to go to the bathroom, and you would lose weight.
This may be around 500 calories if not more.
The Flaws:
1.There have been several studies on women who eat low fat/calorie diet with HCG vs. placebo that showed no difference.
2. You begin to build a tolerance to HCG after 40 days. That’s why you have to cycle on and off.
3. It’s not FDA approved.
4. You CANNOT continue eating 500 calories a day forever. After 40 days, you’ll crash and gain it all back and more quite quickly. If you didn’t learn healthy eating and exercise in the first place, what’s the point?
5. Pure HCG is really difficult to find. All that stuff online is probably fake or diluted.
6. All these crazy dieter HAVE achieved one thing: they raised the price of real HCG. So if you’re going through infertility treatments out there, you pay anywhere from $1000 to $4000 more for treatments now then a year ago.
7. A life-threatening side effect: Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). Basically, your ovaries go into overdrive and pumps estrogen, progesterone, and cytokines all over your bodies. It’s like PMS on steriods.
Basic point: weight loss is simple: Calorie In – Calorie Used. You consume less than you use, you lose weight. There is simply no magic, quick solution.
Which reminds me: yoga today!
Source: HCG Diet Journey HCG Obesity HCG Diet Info Discovery Health Mayo Clinic
